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Thursday, January 30
I was just checking out Rupaul's Blog, and reading the bio...and I fucking love this quote, just had to share:
I was born November 17th, 7:58 p.m. at Mercy Hospital in San Diego, California. When asked what she named her baby boy, my Mother replied, "His name is RuPaul Andre Charles and he's gonna be a star! Cause ain't another mother f**ker alive with a name like that!"
Your Existing Situation
Volatile and outgoing. Needs to feel that events are developing along desired lines, otherwise irritation can lead to changeability or superficial activities.
Your Stress Sources
Feels that life has far more to offer and that there are still important things to be achieved--that life must be experienced to the fullest. As a result, she pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity that will not let go of things. Becomes deeply involved and runs the risk of being unable to view things with sufficient objectivity, or calmly enough; is therefore in danger of becoming agitated and of exhausting her nervous energy. Cannot leave things alone and feels she can only be at peace when she has finally reached her goal.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels that she is receiving less than her share and that there is no one on whom she can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions and a certain egocentricity make her quick to take offense, but she realizes that she has to make the best of things as they are.
Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity.
Your Desired Objective
Suffering from the effects of those things which are being rejected as disagreeable, and is strongly resisting them. Just wants to be left in peace.
Your Actual Problem
The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants drives her to the exploitation of all types of experience, so that she may categorically deny that any of them has any value. This destructive denigration becomes her method of concealing hopelessness and a profound sense of futility.
The Color Quiz
Tuesday, January 28
It was Easter. I was about 6 years old; I knew this was going to be the best Easter yet. Or thought so at first, after my mother told me that the entire family would be coming over for a back yard BBQ, and Egg Hunt for the kids. I was so happy; it was rare the family all came together.
I loved Easter. Not just for the candy, but the Egg Hunt! I loved it so much. Because I was good at it. I could find the eggs no problem, and I usually had the most in my basket. I think I really loved the thrill of the hunt. Even at 6 years old the adrenalin rush was cool.
The day was going great; everyone was there, my aunt and uncle and cousin on my dad’s side (his sister/husband), my two grandma’s (mom/dad’s mom, no grandpa’s they were both divorced), my sister, mom/dad and a few other people, I think neighbors. The grownup’s were cooking, drinking, and having a good time. Us kids were hunting for eggs and playing.
When we were finished hunting for eggs and whatnot, it was time to eat dinner. And my dad said for the kids to bring their baskets over and put them on a table he had set aside. All the grownups and other kids came all around the table, me totally grinning from ear to ear, cuz I had the most in my basket, thinking my parents would be so proud of me, being the best hunter and all.
I came running up to the table, with my entire family around, and the first thing my father said was, “well no wonder you’re so big, look at all that shit in that basket”. I froze. Looked around for a brief second, and RAN into the house, straight into the bathroom, locked the door, sat down on the bathtub edge, and cried like I’ve never cried before. I was so heartbroken, and not to mention completely embarrassed.
Maybe my dad’s right, maybe I am a fat little girl, and it’s all my fault? But why would he say something so hurtful?
Needless to say, me running away crying, put a damper on things. The bathroom window was open and I could hear my father in the backyard, “ohhh fuck, every time I say anything, she starts crying”. So I’m thinking maybe crying isn’t such a good idea, the more he was getting irritated about me crying in the bathroom and making him look bad, the more nervous I was, about going back outside. After my walking around the block incident, I was pretty darn scared of him.
My grandma (my dad’s mom) came knocking on the bathroom door. “Laura honey, do you want to talk”? I didn’t want to, but I let her in anyway, grandmas have a way about them, and you just can’t say no. At least she did. She’s always had a comfort in her voice and at the time I needed that. I let her in, and she asked if I was ok, and that what my dad said wasn’t nice, and that he didn’t mean it. I knew inside that the right thing to do was for him to come tell me that himself. But being only 6 years old, I knew that wasn’t going to happen, my father just didn’t care about anything but himself, and his feelings only. This, at age six I had figured out already.
Today, at lunchtime, I walked over to the local sandwich shop just behind the office here. I ordered a chicken sandwich, and picked up a bag of BBQ Chips. As I’m paying for my lunch, I’m thinking to myself “I bet people are thinking, I don’t need these chips, and it’s very possible that my weight is caused by such purchases”. I do this with any and everything I buy food wise. Shit, I even wonder if my own husband thinks that to himself about me. This is something that bothers me every fucking day. That ONE comment when I was six years old. Why can’t I let it go? Why when I go to the grocery store do I panic if I want something bad for me, and wonder what people will think if they see it in my cart? I don’t buy a box of donuts; I buy ONE so they don’t think I’ll eat the whole box. I hope I can learn to let this go. It’s wearing me down. I just want to live my life without these words to come back and haunt me.
Monday, January 27
Ok, no talking about the stupid Super Bowl. Just another day in the life of a Raider fan. Life long Raider fans understand what I mean. Just the way it goes. Gosh DAMN IT TO HELL. Ok. That's enough.
Sooooo it's Monday. YAY. Don't ya just love Monday's? NOT. Oh well, can't do much about it heh? I did get a funny e-mail from this cool chic . I'll share it with you, it's damn funny. Actually made me laugh first thing this morning, and for me that's damn good. Here ya go:
Subject: Did ya ever wonder..................
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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