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Friday, August 8
A loser is what you were to me.
A love I never felt.
Freedom was only a dream I had.
How could a child make you so mad?
I know I wasn't perfect...
but I really did try.
It was almost like you liked to see me cry.
Thursday, August 7
Sometimes I'm purdy lucky!!!
Today I get home from work, pull up to the gate, get out of the car, go to unlock the gate and look down and see what looks like some paper money. I bend down pick it up, it was all folded up and crinkled, it turned out to be a $2 bill!!! Kinda neat. They don't make them anymore if I remember correctly. Oh, sure would have been extra cool finding a $20, or better yet a $100 (yeah RIGHT). But money is money. And it being a $2 bill is special.
I've been stressed out over the stupid drama at work, I had one HELL of a PMS week or two, whatEVER it sucked!! Crying, yelling, depressed....you name it. I swear, do you hear me?? I SWEAR I'm gonna have a sit down with that Eve person, when it's my time to go, God willing he takes me. Because my GOODNESS how hard would it have been to just listen and NOT eat the damned APPLE?!?!?!? Anyhoo....I'm all better now. And finding that mula was cool. Almost as cool as when I caught a fly ball at a SF Giants Game at PacBell Park!!!! Well....maybe not THAT cool. Cuz that was purdy damn cool. I felt so untouchable when that happened. I'll never forget it. It was about 3 years ago.
It was my first ever major league baseball game, and my husband had been given some very awesome tickets for a Saturday afternoon game at PacBell Park, in San Francisco. A very, very awesome ball park I might add!! It was my husband, his father, his youngest brother and me. We had seats just about 6-7 rows up from 1st base.
Anyway, it was into the 7th inning, and Jeff Kent hit a foul ball into and over our section. I looked up and saw the ball, and said to myself, "no way jose". There were too many people running and wrestling to get the ball. I heard it hit the brick wall behind us. My brother in law jumped up, smacked his knee on the cup rest on the seat trying to get the ball. I just sat there. Then all of the sudden, I guess from everyone fighting for the ball at once, it rolled down......to.....my.......FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!! I felt this bump right in between my feet. Thank god I had them close enough together it would have passed me right up. So I bent down without saying a word, I wanted to make sure it was the ball......I grabbed it, stuck my arm out in the air for everyone to see, and yelled "HELL YEAHHHHHHHHHHH". WOW what a feeling. And at my first game ever!!! That day will stick with me until the day I die! What a memory that is. Unfortunately we had to hurry and get home, so we didn't stick around to have Jeff sign the ball. Besides I was actually routing for the Oakland A's!!! heehee.....
So the point of that whole story, is to remind me that things could be worse. And I do have some kick ass luck sometimes!!! I really do. Just need to realize that. And be happy for what I have. Quit mopin' over the small stuff.
Tuesday, August 5
Nothing new going on really. Same ole stuff. I need to post more. Let things out. I've been holding shit in and, I had a anxiety attack last night. Of course as I was trying to go to sleep. I couldn't catch my breath, and just had a major anxious feeling all over.
Stupid shit is going on at work. I dread coming in everyday now. My lady boss I work directly with is loosing her mind, and I'm stuck right in the middle of it. It's sad. yet it's hard to deal with too. I like her as a person, but as a boss she sucks. Her heart is in the right place, but damn man.....enough is enough.
I'm dieting again. I know I said something before, and never followed thru. I wasn't ready. I'm ready now. Started yesterday. I used to go to Weight Watchers and followed the points program, and lost 40 lbs. Gained about 10 lbs. back. So....I know I can do it. I'm just going to follow the program again, but on my own. What I thought I'd do, is post my progress and use my blog as a tool to keep me on the right track. Any comments and good or bad support will be most appreciated. The more I feel I have to answer to someone the better!!!
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